Who I am...and Who I want to be

I've got little beauty to boast about
I don't make men faint or stare
But there's something amazing about my diligence
that you cannot find in my hair
I've got a cool confidence that's brighter than my smile
And my wisdom is better than a figure fair
I pride myself on my mind
So what I'm not the belle of the ball ...I can't say i care
I may not get you with this face
But my mind will amaze


I've been in such a funk lately. I'm at a very important crossroad. I've got the rest of my life dangling before me and I'm praying that I make the right decisions. It's a scary thought. Ironically, I haven't really come to grips with the fact that maybe this singing career won't happen. It's not because I don't want it, it's just I don't have the kind of support for it that I think I need. My parents don't encourage it, they don't even talk to me about it really. My friends don't encourage it much and it gets discouraging. I know I have been gifted with this. God uses me in song, but I just cannot seem to get the people around me to realize just how much it means to me.

Someone asked me yesterday if it was something I was willing to pursue and I told them "I'd give up everything to do this." I meant that. I want nothing more than to sing and play everyday...to touch people with my music. I just need support from the one's I love. I fear I"m going to end up being successful and hate every moment of it. I pray I am not.

It's funny. Who I'm planning to be and who I want to be are not the same person. Such is life.

I'm hopeful anyway.



With ♥,
Semaj